dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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