that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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