im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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