went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize