no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just had sex bonerless
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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