Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
