Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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