he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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