whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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