imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize