I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
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We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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