drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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