dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
operation have a gay friend backfired
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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