So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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