is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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