Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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