If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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