I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize