I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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