I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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