It was confusing and full of hummus
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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