No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
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Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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