is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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