Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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