cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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