....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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