I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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