So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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