On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize