he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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