Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize