I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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