Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize