tell your sister to shave her snatch
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
