Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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