Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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