we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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