i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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