i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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