I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize