not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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