Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize