so explain again why im purple
no
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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