are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
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He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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