Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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