Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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