sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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