ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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