Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize