Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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